EXCERPT FROM: RE-IMAGINING THE INCREDIBLE NEW AVENGFULL RE-AVENGING AVENGE-MAX AVENGERS

His cape, slicing through the air.  His eyes scanning his surroundings.  His hand subtly itching his buttocks.  This is our hero.  The famous world-wide recognized protector of the universe: Sandwichman.”
This was the opening line of of Marvel’s new hit superhero’s first comic. Sandwichman was the first member of the Incredible New Avengfull Re-Avenging Avenge-Max Avengers.  A new league of heroes for a new generation of humans (and animal people, we don’t segregate those anymore).
People were tired of the boring 3 dimensional super heroes who fought battles on the inside and the out. Heck they didn’t want fights or battles at all:
“It’s too difficult to follow!” the new generation said.
So Marvel, not willing to stop making uninspired movies like everyone wanted to do, (Their slogan: ‘With great power comes great profitability) decided to combine two of the worst things out there: No, not house music and meeting your girlfriends parents, super hero films and reality television.
Each film about Sandwichman would include a 30 minute segment on him making a sandwich and whether or not his butler would enjoy it. Fans were shocked when the butler gave an ‘ehh’ to one of Sandwichman’s signature steak sandwich.  It may have been that that was all that could be deciphered from the butler’s cardiac arrest (The secret ingredient, 1/2 tablespoons of salt, may have been a contributor to the attack).  But by the end of the film, with the help of Accountant Girl (The tagline to her film was: Who knew accounting could be this intense!!!”) he would figure out a mystery, feed his butler a thumbs up (The thumbs up may have been part of a seizure, Sandwichman forgot how epileptic the butler was when he invited him to his hideout at the disco. In fact some fans speculate as to whether Sandwichman put the sandwich in his mouth to stop him from biting his tongue off. Other nerdier fans claim that that would not allow for universe 134 to happen because of- yeah we don’t get it either) and still manage to out food his nemesis, Doctor Dorrito.

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