When Exterminators Attack

Tom’s hand was stretched to it’s full capacity to grab the axe lodged in his friend Steve’s brain. Tom had told him not to get that surgery revealing his brain stating,
“It’ll be REALLY easy to die!”
“Naa,” his companion said, “it’ll be fine! Also the chicks will completely dig it!”
Tom never had the heart to tell him that it was probably the revealed brain, as will as it’s small size, that lead to Steve’s life of eternal bachelorhood.
As Tom’s attacker was strangling Tom to death he contemplated how he would probably die in the midst of one of the lamest conspiracy’s in human history.
It had all started out that morning when Tom tried to buy a bagel. Then, in a series of escalating bargains Tom ended up getting a bagel, 4 Labradors, and a lifetime supply of pizza in exchange for a backrub and military grade secrets.
Then, about three hours later and 4 separate calls to the pound, a group of people wearing ‘swat’ uniforms came in. Tom tried to tell them they hadn’t ordered an exterminator but when one of them pulled a gun on him he may or may not have shot him in the head. Well, it was definitely a may/yes because that exterminator was definitely dead. The exterminator’s friends apparently were not very happy about that as they pulled out their exterminator rays which looked quite a bit like semi-automatic’s, probably to much for an extermination company.
“Code 97-b” Tom yelled which meant that exterminator are attempting to kill us all because of something Tom did.
Then one of the exterminators pulled out an axe and threw it at Tom’s friend Steve. It hit Steve straight in the exposed brain. Then as more of Tom’s compatriots arrived one of the exterminators tackled Tom and began to strangle him, which brings us back to the moment.
As Tom was being strangled by this man he tried to reach for the axe. As his fingers gripped the axe he began to lose consciousness. He used his last ounce of strength to throw the axe. It sailed in an arc and hit absolutely no one. Tom’s eyes followed the axe until they moved to the doorway where someone unexpected was standing.
Using even his laster ounces of strength he put together the puzzle of the conspiracy in his mind.
“Wait… Mom?” And then he died.


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