The Lizard Wizard

There is much to say on the fate of the Lizard Wizard.

The first Lizard Wizard was granted Wizard status 60 years ago because people noticed that lizard and wizard rhymed. There wasn’t much more to it than that though. Many people found that lizard wizards weren’t very effective in their wizarding way’s and often asked for refunds, but they never got them because Lizard Wizards couldn’t do math.

Then came the dark days, Lizard Wizards were hunted for their extremely fun-to-say names.  20 years ago there were only 15 Lizard Wizards in the wild. The Lizard Wizard council was angry (We thought, we didn’t speak Lizard), but we thought we were safe.


It was a happy day in Clearwater… that is until the screams came. The townspeople formed a defensive human pyramid, but when the Lizard Wizards came all it took was one tickle to send the entire pyramid falling down. Tens were hurt, with bruises and one sprained wrist. The townspeople retaliated the next day, sending a mean poem to the Lizard Wizard base at the top of the hill.

There is no physical evidence of what the poem said, but the townspeople pieced it together the best they could:
     Loser
Inconsiderate
Z… We’ll come back to that
Awesome, is something you are not
Really annoying
Dumb

Many at the time thought the words were too strong, but the town council sent it anyway. Fearing retribution, the crown sent Bull Fighters, a group of highly trained bulls, but they got lost when they saw a red towel drifting in the wind.

So the people were left to face the Lizard Wizards alone. Their eminent doom seemed definite until one bright young man thought of building a big fence around them. The idea seemed to work, the entire town pitched in and built a giant fence. But can you imagine their dismay when they realized they built it around the wrong town!

Finally the Clearwaterians realized the only way to beat the Lizard Wizards was to think like a Lizard Wizard, so they dressed up like Lizards and scampered around town on all four legs. Unfortunately this is when the real Lizard Wizards attacked. They went to the town licking everything in sight. Residents screamed in terror. Once they finally left the entire town was covered in a sticky white glaze.

No-one has seen the Lizard Wizards since, some say they now live underground, some say that they killed the president and now rule the nation themselves, other’s say they just got tired of being dressed up in robes and wizard hats. Whatever the answer is, legend says that even now if a lizard sees a human pyramid, it will strike! Bringing the entire thing toppling to the ground much like they did in Clearwater, also then they’ll kill you.
Anyway, let’s make a human pyramid!

wizard lizard

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