It was a normal day in Tokyo, the city was hustling bustling and had only been attacked by a giant monster four times that day. All that was about to change though.

“Godzilla!” People screamed in terror as his shadow blocked out the sun. The city trembled in his wake, buildings toppled, people splattered, cars were crushed, kittens were adorable. It was truly a devastating sight.

Godzilla was a little hurt, because as it turns out he wasn’t actually Godzilla. He was Godzilla Jr. It’s a real challenge being the son of a giant monster, you always feel like you’re in it’s humongous, humongous shadow. That’s why Godzilla was in the city today, he wanted to make a new name for himself. A name no longer associated with death and destruction, and dog fighting (there was a scandalous scandal). Godzilla Jr. was here… For an interview.

A lot of people say you never really realize how big Godzilla is until he’s standing right above you. Or they would say that if they had survived. Regardless, Godzilla Jr. was nearly as big as his dad, and was having real trouble navigating the city.

“EXCUSE ME!” He bellowed across the city. “CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHERE THE METRO IS?” No one replied. Godzilla Jr. was hurt, he’d heard things about this city, but he’d always hoped that it would be a place where anyone could be accepted.

One kind soul though, down below, knew exactly how poor Godzilla Jr. felt, and offered him a helping hand.

“it’s two blocks south!” the man yelled up.

“WHAT?” Godzilla yelled. He couldn’t quite hear the man, so he picked him up and brought him to his ear. Unfortunately, Godzilla Jr. underestimated his strength and accidentally crushed the man, but the good faith really cheered him up.

Godzilla Jr. decided to just leg it on his way to the interview much to Tokyo’s dismay.

20 seconds and 200 dead Japanese folk later and Godzilla had made his way to the business district. Or what was the business district. He made a concerted effort not to knock down Prank Pacemakers Inc Tower, where his interview was taking place, and he mostly succeeded. They didn’t need that half of the building anyway, Godzilla Jr. internally reasoned.

“You’re late.” Jones M. McJonesm said through what used to be his staffs workplace but was now a gaping whole into the chilly Tokyo air.

“I’m sorry, I got a little lost.” Godzilla Jr. said.

“I hope that isn’t something that we’d have to get used to if we hired you.” Jones said.

“No trust me this-” Godzilla Jr. was interrupted by the stare Jones shot at him.

“What would you say your worst quality is? Is it this tardiness?” Jones asked.

“No, I-”

“What would you say your best qualities are?”

“I can breathe fire! And stomp on cities.”

“And how will that help you market our Prank Pacemakers?” Godzilla stood silently for a moment, shifting his weight between his feet, each time making the ground below him sink.


“Look,” Jones said, trying to look disappointed, “I just don’t think your skill set is suited to marketing here. I suggest some sort of city smashing or… I don’t know, professional marshmallow roaster.”

Godzilla stormed off, down in the dumps. He was so sad he cause 4 floods with his tears. Then, just as he accidentally knocked a tower down onto a formation of military officers, he had a brilliant idea.


Two Years Later

“Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Godzilla Jr. sues Prank Pacemakers over workplace discrimination! Makes millions! Marries childhood sweetheart! Accidentally destroys Tokyo again!”


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