March 13th 2016
Hey guys it’s me Frankie! Today I begin my journey around the world in 180 days. First I’ll be going to south east asia. Then… something! I haven’t planned it out yet, but you know what my Mom always said about travel, “look out for gpysys!”
So right now I’m at the San Fransisco Airport and Buster (my dog) and I are about to set off for Tokyo!
March 13th, 2016
Um… So hi guys it’s me again. I’m writing from the airplane! Interesting news… We’ve been hijacked, by some guy who claims he is Kim Jong Un’s best friend. Now I’m not quite sure who this Jong Un person is, but I’m pretty sure he’s a bad guy, because he sounds like a foreigner. That’s one thing you learn as a world traveler, it’s always wise to distrust foreigners. I know this, because I’m a world traveler now. Look at me Steve, who’s going to die if they leave the country because they have a prank pacemaker now?
March 13th 2016
Another update guys, it looks like we’re going to land in some place called north korea. Don’t worry, I did try and correct them when they said it was north korea, but then they slapped me. Man they’re gonna feel dumb when they realize that there is actually only SOUTH korea. Foreigners right?
Anyway, I hope we’ll be landing soon, but you know. Air travel amiright?
March 13th 2016
Okay guys, I’ve been getting a lot of hate surrounding my foreigner comments. Here’s my response. If foreigners are so great, how come they’re not American? You know the bible does say that America is the greatest Country, right on page one.
In other news, some people have been commenting that in actuality there is a north korea. I don’t know how to tell these people they are idiots without hurting their feelings. Apparently Kim Jong Un actually is a dictator for this imaginary “north” korea, that’s what you get for putting someone with a foreign sounding name in charge of your country. Note how there’s never been a dictator named John Smith or Adolf Stephenson.
March 26th 2016
Hey, here’s another update from good ol’ Frankie Frankerson! There’s a lot of good news in this post. For example, I just discovered there is actually a North Korea! Crazy amiright? It’s a lot of fun over here, Kim Jong Un and I spend everyday hanging out, and honestly speaking? I think I am going to be his best friend. Don’t tell Adele.
Here are some interesting facts about our Grand Leader Kim Jong Un. Yesterday I saw him make 43 three pointers in a row on the basketball court. Truly amazing! Then after that I was brought to his new Kim Jong Un theme restaurant. It was so much fun! We ordered the Kim Jong Un face cake, and he only slapped me twice for defacing his face when I ate it.
In related news, please help me. North Korea’s a lot of fun, but I’m not quite sure whether I’m a real fit for this place, for example: As of a week ago Buster and I were best friends, but now it appears as though he now swears allegiance to Kim Jong Un and is a high level military position. He now speaks Korean!
I’m sorry, maybe I’m just ranting. I’ll try and be more #positive. Here’s something good that’s happened. I’m going to be joining every North Korean sports team! I tried to explain to them I’ve never played any sports, but they just laughed and said I was a giant. Also a horrible monster who is embarrassing the great republic by being here. Man, these guys give the weirdest compliments.
April 8th 2016
Welp! Kim Jong Un and I are getting married. I know this might be a bit of a surprise to y’all considering that I’ve always seemed like a free spirit, never to be tied down by some man. Things have changed though. Kim Jong Un has shown me what love really is. A life without him sending you to the dungeon. Also did I mention he owns his own country? That’s pretty cool.
If anyone’s interested Buster has, in a shocking turn of events, has become one of Kim Jong Un’s top advisors. I’m not quite sure if his popularity here is due to him being the only dog that isn’t eaten, or possibly something to do with his commanding bark, but he is really climbing the political ladder.
April 14th 2016
Okay guys. Don’t tell anyone, but I think that I might have to escape this place. It’s not because Kim and I have been having marital troubles. It doesn’t bother me that he always takes the left side of the bed, or slurps his cereal in the morning or has a girls name. No, I find that all very endearing. I just want to leave okay! Get off my case.
Kim, if you’re reading this I want you to know it’s all sarcasm. That’s why it sounds like I want to escape.
Well guys here’s another update from Kim Jong Un Island, which is what he’s considering changing the nations name to. The fact that North Korea isn’t an island, doesn’t seem to bother him. As an update from my previous post, I was detained and imprisoned for about a month after my previous post. Kim had to show the post to his top sarcasm expert, Buster. Man, I hate being thrown under the bus by my old best friend.
In case your wondering how I get to keep posting, apparently my blog has become very big in North Korea, it is the only government approved source of entertainment. When there are no updates to my blog the North Korean people have to go back to their old form of entertainment. Starvation.
May 22nd 2016
Kim and I are having an engagement party! Anyone who hates Kim Jong Un, or is a Western Spy is invited to the Torture Room. Which is the name of the venue. Definitely not a room in which people are tortured.
June 2nd 2016
We got married! I am now officially known as ‘The Greatest Most Attractive Woman Who is Married to the Grand Leader, She is a Beautiful and also is North Korea’s Mother”.
Here’s an update for all the loving fans out there. Kim Jong Frankie (which is our celebrity couple name), is going strong. We are pregnant. Well I am. And good news! It is a god. Unless it is a woman. The strange thing is though, we’ve never had… relations. Get me out of here. Please. He’s so oily, and always insists on being the small spoon.
Kim, remember that was all sarcasm.
Frankie Greatest Most Attractive Woman Who is Married to the Grand Leader, She is Beautiful and also is North Korea’s Mother. Frankerson
Will Frankie escape from Kim’s oily crutches? Will Buster gain even more favor? Will Kim find his biological father? Find out in the next installment of Frankie Frankerson’s Foreigner Experience.