Wikipedia Jamethon Stallion

Jamethon “Lucky” Stallion (born August 8th, 2003), was a former horse racer, horse murderer, and bonsai tree enthusiast. Jamethon learned his horse racing prowess at Horse Academy, an academy where horses taught humans English. After this he made it into the Racing Race Race league, and found success there. In his first year, Jamethon managed to snag nearly 27 race points. Which is one of the highest scoring points in race horse history. That year “Lucky” was favored to get the Highhorse trophy, but was jipped by his ex-wife who just had to go and get herself murdered.

EARLY LIFE

Born to Admiral and Bramble Stallion, Jamethon spent much of his early years kicking people. He was one of those horses, who just loved to run around and kick people in the head. Sometimes he’d wait by a door and then right when someone came in? Boom! Kick right in the head.

PRE-RACING RACE RACE LEAGUE

When Lucky was about 6 months old he went and trained at Horse Academy after a complete misunderstanding of what Horse Academy was. So instead of learning how to really race, he just became an expert at teaching humans English.

There was no need to fear, in early 2004 Lucky discovered that what he couldn’t make up for in training, he could make up in steroids. So, after a brilliant two day race across the entire world, Lucky Stallion made it into the Racing Race Race League.

RACING RACE RACE LEAGUE

The Racing Race Race League was quite competitive at that time. Many people fail to understand that, Lucky Stallion was just one of the many big names making a name for themselves in the Racing Race Race League. There was Napoleon, Trapper, Pirate, and Snowball. Together they were called the Facetious Five, because Horses aren’t very good at English.

Lucky started the 8 race season poorly, he barely managed to get into the top 10 and avoid the pit of death, which any losing horse was forced into.  Luckily for him, he got lucky when he found an old gun lying around and shot everyone in front of him.

Lucky turned up the heat though, earning a combined 27 points that season, a new record for a rookie. Everyone thought that Lucky was sure to win the Highhorse Trophy, but when it was discovered that his ex-wife had been murdered with a kick to the face, the Racing Race Race League descended into a wild witch hunt, everyone looking for ways to burn poor old Lucky.

PERSONAL LIFE

Between mid 2004 and early 2005, Lucky and Pickle Brown, a young horse with lot’s of energy and long blond mane, were married. Their relationship was known to be violent, whenever one was angry they’d just kick the other one in the head. It seemed like a match made in heaven. The violence turned even more violent though, when Lucky implanted knives on his hooves called Knifesotoners.

In early 2005 the two split, causing visible distress to Lucky. Who was he going to beat now?

 

THE PICKLE BROWN MURDER

On the morning of April 3rd, 2005, Pickle Brown and a family friend Pawn Goldhorse, were found dead at Pickle Brown’s home.

Many accused Lucky of doing it, because he signed his name on the ground nearby, and the microwave smelt like his favorite frozen pizza. Also all the cameras showed he was there. Also his scent was there. Also he said he did it. Of course, this being a murder case of a celebrity, it became very large, with the court being fully televised.

Oddly enough, Lucky was not accused of any wrong doing, because of the horse rights movement, and also a group of incompetent lawyers.

Justice right?

RETURN TO RACING RACE RACE LEAGUE

That year Lucky Stallion returned to the Racing Race Race League, and had the best year ever seen by a horse. It just goes to show. Crime does pay.

Brutal Murder

Lucky one day in his home, became besties with Brutal Murder, a fellow horse with a poor name. Together they opened up a great used bookstore, where Lucky Stallion resides to this day.

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