Dimitri Bakula Crazy People I Meet on Internet Web

Hey guys, it is me, good friend Dimitri Bakula. I have gathered phone information to give to my good internet friends. Here is 2 crazy people I met on Match.com

Hi Carl! I’m Jennifer, and I really wanted to talk to you! I love your profile. I’m just wondering, when you say that you love Blood, you’re talking about the band, right? Anyway, I hope we can get together sometime.


What are your interests.

Pale Women. The color red. What interests are you having?

I’m a big Imagine Dragons Fan

Bonsai Tree Enthusiast

I Love Italian food


Not Garlic Bread.

Um… No?

I have a… Allergy

Um. I’m sorry, my um… phone is out of battery.

But we are talking on computer.


I never realized out Jennifer’s problem, but I never heard from her again. My working idea is that her phone was somehow connected to perhaps a pacemaker and it killed her. I showed my messages to the police, but then they laughed at me. We’ll never know what happened to Jennifer, but I hope her the best.


My interaction with Ashley

Hello Ashley. I have texted you because I wanted to alert you that you look like you have very much blood, as you are well fleshed out.

Thank you. Question, when your job says bringer of pain, is that a euphemism?

No. I am against euthanization.

What is the job you do?

Oh! I don’t know, sometimes I think my job isn’t very important, but I like to think I bring joy to people.

Oh. Prostitute?

No! I’m an actress.

I see picture. You would make very good prostitute.

Well thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me regarding my ability to become prostitute.

No problem, I became very familiar with the prostitutes in my home town.

Oh. That’s um. Nice.

No. You make silly woman mistake. I did not sexify prostitute. No. I drain prostitutes blood. For science.

Oh? You are a scientist.

In a way. Much like a woman is a human. Kind of, but not really. I deal with… Drawing out blood for consumption.

Wow! That is really offensive. You’re the poison of society.

No. Poison of society is not released in your country yet. In my home town Society Poison is used for population control. That and those damn vampire hunters.

I am so done with you.


I never made reason why my old good friend Ashley stop being my good friend. Deep down I think it may be my foreword thinking ways that scared her. A man not killing prostitute? Her worldview was earthquaked.


So is the life of me, in the crazy world of New York City.



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