Carl’s Diary Part #3 of the Sir Yankiedoodle Saga

Make sure to check out the other entries in the Sir Yankiedoodle Saga First:

From the Diary of Sir Edward Yankiedoodle #2

From the Diary of Sir Edward Yankiedoodle

 

 

From the Diary of Carl

 

April 10th, 1607

 

As ever, I am worried about dear Sir Edward. The leopards seem to have a devils tongue and are luring him into a trap with their sweet words of job security and health care. A single tear falls from my eye in solitude with his struggling soul. Another tear falls because they didst not think to acquire my services. Am I not of sharp wit? Of humble brow? Of powerful thighs? I can jump to quite heights. If they fail to find truth in my humble word, I shall demonstrate my jumping abilities.

Whatever shalt be done?

 

April 11th, 1607

 

There hast been a quite compelling development. Sir Edward hast proclaimed that he shallnt join the leopards, because they didn’t have dental. My soul is eternally mournful of his dear sacrifice for our noble expedition party. Whatever hast perverted our society so, that the esteemed leader of our party shall not abandon said party without a second thought? I shudder to think what they shalt say back in England. Something I daresay too similar to “Carl hast not a decent bone in his body.” My entire earthly body shalt sorrow, as will my religious body, as well as my very powerful thighs. If this fate should befall me, I shalt never jump again. Oh the sorrow of my existence!

 

April 12th, 1607

 

The leader hast decided to push forward into the cave. Though my mortal body trembles with the fear of Cavemonster Peter Pan, my spirit and courage is eager to impress the fools who dared say I would be broken, a shell of an accountant, like every other man who hast dared follow Sir Yankiedoodle’s escapapdes. We art only 200 pounds above our projected budget, and I daresay these expenses were absolutely unavoidable. The lorde sayeth the eleventh commandment be “Thou shalt not travel wanting a solid gold poker set.” At least that’s the word Sir Edward’s Bible read by. I am quite confused why his Bible is called “How to Totally Get Some Action (from) A-Broad”. I guess thou shalt never know. Oh if only I could help Sir Edward, then I shallnt need to shed a thousand tears for his soul. Oh woe is me.

 

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