The Lesser Known Riots Throughout US History

In light of riots around the US recently, I feel like the time is better than ever to remember the lesser known riots of American History. These are the riots and protests that didn’t get nearly the coverage and attention that they deserved.

The Tax Riots

The Tax Riots were most definitely one of the most intense protests turned riots in American History. It was the great depression, and New York was feeling the strain. So when tax was raised by 20% people were outraged. They could barely afford food, and now they couldn’t even stuff their dead animals full of chemicals? It was a travesty of the highest order.

So the public gathered downtown and started peacefully protesting. Things turned violent though, when the taxidermists began to race taxidermied deer and bears across the streets up ahead, in a poor form of taunting. Then they released actual bear and deer. What happened next was a massacre rivaled only by the Bare Bear Riot in American History. Bear, deer, taxidermists, and commoners alike began to battle.

It took 6 years for the battle to die down. Some call it the Second Civil War, but those people are stupid. Eventually, by the time the riot was over the great depression had ended, and the US was now part of the Second World War, bringing an end to the whole affair.

The Bare Bear Riots

The Bare Bear Riots are one of the most interesting riots to happen on American soil, but some historians doubt whether it ever actually happened. Evidence that I have made up, proves that it did actually happen.

The Bare Bear Riots occurred in Colorado in the early 20^th century, when a state law came into effect making Bears legal Coloradoan citizens. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that this also required them to adhere to Colorado’s public nudity laws.

When Bear’s began to be arrested because of their lack of clothing, they began to fight back. In the outskirts of the city it began, thousands of bears gathered, nude as the day they were born. Together they fought back against the clothed humans. When the riot was over, 40,000 people were dead as were 7 bears. Who died of natural causes.

Luckily though, after a call to end violence by the bear leader, Fuzzy Wuzzy, the bears and humans began negotiating peace. And I am happy to say that now the governor of Colorado is a bear.

The Current Governor of Colorado

The Race Riots

The Race Riots are better known than the previous riots on this list. In Los Angeles in 1992 protests and anger began to seethe out of the public when Alan Kulwicki beat Bill Elliot in the NASCAR Winston Cup.

Hundreds of people were in an uproar, because Bill Elliot had a much nicer name, and they didn’t want the vaguely foreigner sounding Kulwicki to beat him.

Unfortunately for race enthusiasts they didn’t get nearly the attention they felt they were entitled to because of the other race riots in 1992. Regardless though, the NASCAR race riots destroyed blocks of property. Two Blocks. A lot of people draw parallels between the 1992 race riots and increasing racial tensions in America, but this reporter fails to see how racing would ignite anything about race.

 

Those are some of the lesser known riots that have occurred throughout US history. I hope you have learned something today, and if you haven’t, couldn’t you at least pretend you did to spare my feelings?