Bird Watching for Dummies

Bird watching is a very fun past time, especially if you have experience with birds or stalking. There are a lot of things, both positive and negative, that people should note about Bird Watching that they aren’t aware of before getting into it:

  1. Bird watching is a lot of fun on it’s own, but it is also a great way to spy on people. What’s this, a nice bluebird? Then all of a sudden what’s this? You’re ex-wife? What a coincidence that she’s here. Right by her home. What are the chances? And there’s her new boyfriend Craig. And what’s that, the only venomous bird? Right above Craig’s head. And someone accidentally switched out Craig’s cologne to worm scent cologne. And then right there Craig dies. Ha!
  2. Bird watching allows a lot of time to get to know yourself better. For example as I was watching a cardinal fight a horse I discovered that I truly feared cardinals. I mean really feared them. Then when the other 300 cardinals attacked the horse and carried him off. When three months later I was bird watching with some friends and discovered thousands of dead horses in a pit surrounded by cardinals, I realized that I should buy an anti-cardinal shelter for my family. They laughed at me, and then my wife left me, but I’ll show them.
  3. Bird watching is a great bonding experience. If you bring some sort of pet, like a dog, cat, or small human, you get valuable bonding time with them. For example as I was running from some cardinals my pet dog and I had a really wonderful time together. Which was fun until the cardinal killed my dog.
  4. Bird watching will prepare you for the future cardinal apocalypse.


You’re welcome.


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