Steve’s One Man Show

Jeff and his friends gather anxiously around the stage, both eager and a little fearful to see the one man show their friend Steve was about to perform.

They’d been friends with him for years, which is why they didn’t break off their friendship when they discovered it was going to be an “Exploration of my emotions.” So now they were here, ready to witness the fruition of the past three months of Steve’s life. Jeff wished to himself that Alice could be here. Alice had killed herself the day before, after being forced to go to one of the dress rehearsals. Some say there wasn’t a correlation, but there was.

The lights dimmed and Jeff took his seat, chewing on his cheek as he always did when he got nervous. Or hungry for human flesh.

Standing in the middle of the stage was Steve. Naked as the day he was born (note he wasn’t wearing the cowboy hat he was born with), and painted neon green.

“Sadness.” Steve said. Then he fell to the ground and began rolling about.

Jeff was seriously doubting how much he cared about Steve. Sure Steve had given him a kidney, but…

Steve began to sing as he rolled on the ground.

“I am so sad. So sad. The emotion I am feeling is predominantly sadness.”

Jeff looked over at his friends who had a confused look on their face. Jeff himself was having a difficult time trying to figure out what it is that Steve meant by that. Was he trying to say that he was sad? Or was he trying to say that it was society’s expectations for him to be sad?

The next thing Jeff knew Steve had a hamster in his hand, and was crocheting it a little hat. Wow. Maybe Jeff had underestimated Steve’s artistic ability. The hat wasn’t very beautiful, but maybe it was just demonstrating that you don’t have to conform to beauty standards. Deep stuff.

The next hour passed in a blur, all Jeff could think about was how Steve had just demonstrated the emptiness of the universe with one look.


Just kidding. Jeff did not understand Steve’s performance at all, and thankfully got hit by a bus later that night.




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