Deathcycle

A lot of people throughout the years have spoken of the deathcycle. There was Abraham Lincoln who at later times in his life became more and more obsessed with it. Also, it is rumored that Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Deathcycle was actually about the Deathcycle.

The truth is though that no-one really understands quite what the deathcycle really is, back in the time of the Egyptians ancient scripts theorized that it was a bicycle that was very dangerous and happened to kill people. That was all we knew for a long time, but when the Ottoman empire was at it’s peak dozens of people reported seeing the deathcycle. Most of them reported it was half bicycle, half Grim Reaper.

We didn’t really know what it was until about a century ago when Joseph Stalin utilized the essence of the Deathcycle to defeat the Nazi’s.

It turns out we had been looking at it wrong the entire time. It wasn’t Deathcycle, it was Dea-the-sickle. It was actually just a sickle that was very good at killing people. Named Dea. It was just razor blades attached to a sickle. Just a super super dangerous sickle.

And yes, it was rumored that I was engaged to Dea the Sickle, but we discovered that we just weren’t a good fit for each other. Mostly because she was an inanimate object that I’d been personifying because of my inability to interact with other humans due to me being a vampire. We split amicably, and remain on good terms.

So, if any of you ladies out there are cold blooded and have hundreds of centuries of lore written about you… then call me.

 

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