When We Met the Martians

When we discovered aliens on Mars, its safe to say that we were a little surprised. First off, if they’d been in those solar system so long how come they weren’t paying rent?

We were excited though because we were sure they had all the answers. It turns out though, that they were unemployed, and just bummed around in our solar system all the time. Of course, we gave them all the great technologies we had because we just were just trying to be nice. And you know what? At first they cleaned up the space debris, but over time they just stopped. They sat around on they’re own planet all day. And then they had those jerks from Jupiter show up, blowing up planets left and right. And there would be this funky smell. Just… gross.

So, we tried to get them to contribute to space travel and everything, put some of their space bucks into it, but they just refused to get off of their stupid planet. So we gave them an ultimatum. Start helping out around here or we’re going to kick you out.

So listen People of Mars. Would you do me a favor and just please start helping out around here? Or at least take down your nuclear shields and planetary defenses? Please?

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