My Wife, Princess Deathface

When I met my wife, it was great because it was also the day I got to meet my murderer. I feel like in a way that is a positive, but it also really put a damper on our relationship.

I guess in advance I should have seen that her being named Princess Deathface as a bit of a bad sign. But hey! Love blinds, you know! Also because she poisoned my drink. Making me blind.

But it’s okay, because in a way I blinded her too. By throwing acid in her face. In retrospect we could have used at least one person in our family who could see. Which is why we tried having a kid. But then I remembered that I couldn’t have kids because the government said if I had kids they’d take them away because I’m, quote on quote, “A psychopathic maniac”.

But that was fine, because we decided a much better way to get kids was to steal them. But guess what? That’s also technically illegal! How was I supposed to see that coming? Can I even do anything in this country anymore?

Wait, what was I talking about?


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