Hipsters have brought back lots of things that we thought had been lost to the ravages of time. Beards, fixed gear bikes, glasses, smelling bad, you name it. They have revolutionized taking pictures of their food as well as sporting items you didn’t even know could work like a hat. But now I think it’s time to utilize their oddness.
I think that now is a time of malleability in American Culture, and dammit I think we can bring horses back.
Why spend tens of thousands of dollars on cars and insurance, when you can spend just 3000 a year on horses. Sure, horses don’t go at the same speed as cars, but maybe that’s what America needs. Maybe we should all just stop participating in the rat race, and start participating in horse races.
Do horses ever get their tires broken? No. They don’t have tires. Do their legs occasionally break, or their hooves? Shut up, don’t think about that. Would it cost a lot of money in infrastructure to build stables across America? Maybe. Would feeding the horses take hundreds of dollars out of the average Americans budget. Maybe. But would it make us a lot of money if this took off? Yes.
We can bring Americans back to a time when they weren’t concerned with how cool their car was, but back to a time when they were concerned with how cool their carriage was. A time when all you had to worry about was watching your step, so you could avoid stepping in horse manure.
I predict big profits. How big you ask? Very big. If you really are going to push me for an answer, then I will just direct you at this chart below.
Wow. That’s a lot of cash money if I do say so myself.
Yes. It will be difficult to get the business going. Sure, we’ll have to change some laws regarding riding horses in cities. And yes, we will have to invest hundreds of thousands of dollars in stables. But let me ask you this. Are you not willing to pay some money, for more money? And if your answer to that is no, then you are of no use to this company. If you want to get up and leave then you might like my other business. What Ever Happened To Only Showering Twice A Year?
Do you want to affect change? Do you want to change the world? Ask yourselves these questions. Also, Do you want to lend me 50 cents? My horse is tired and I have to take the bus home.