It has come to our attention that apparently you do not like us very much, well that is fine, because we don’t like you. We got your note in the letter saying “You guys are the worst.” and “Give us our toaster back.” and we’re sending this note to tell you, no.
Are we the worst? Think about it. Were we really so wrong to come into your home for a dinner party and invite our own guests? And then pretended like it was our home? And then begin looking in your safe for the papers so it could really become our home?
Honestly, we were barely even there. Anyway, we had fun didn’t we? Sure we couldn’t find the papers, but then you and I had some one on one time, and your wife and mine had some one on one time. And we didn’t even leave any bruises, and if that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.
You say that me and my wife are “psycopaths”. Well if we really were psycopaths, wouldn’t we be able to spell psycopath correctly? Look over it again, and then look at yourself in the mirror. Wow. I guess you really learnt something.
In the end, wasn’t the night about celebrating? Us celebrating our new home, and you, celebrating a new chapter in your life away from your home. And you know what? If we look back on that night it was never really about the home? It was really about the memories we made. And I do remember you and your wife weeping a lot. And that’s something our families will always have… together.