When I was younger I became known across the world for being the first President of the United States under 18. Some say it was a publicity stunt, but I’ll assure you, I made big decisions. Do you remember the national debate on whether that dress was white and gold or black and blue? I made the executive decision that it was white and gold. Of course, the big reveal proved I was wrong, but I like to think that my lowest approval rating then made my highest approval ratings later much sweeter.
My job wasn’t all difficult national debate stuff, occasionally I had to deal with other world leaders. This was easy, because adults can’t say no to a kid. So I successfully annexed China, Canada, Russia, and Ecuador.
My life wasn’t all peaches and roses though. Being a kid president was difficult though. Sometimes the other world leaders would stay up late to talk about politics, but my bed time had come and I had to leave. That was my darkest hour, not only did my vice president lose the state of Oklahoma in a game of Uno, but the Secret Service said they were all laughing at me behind my back.
So I realized it was time to quit. The world had seen enough of me. I was going into retirement.
And that’s where I am now. I am retired. Here in this mental institution.