Read All About the Shark Hunter!

What’s the best part about hunting sharks? People ask me. And then I tell them, I’m not a shark hunter, I’m actually just an electrician.

I don’t know why people always seem to think I’m a shark hunter! Is it because of the shark teeth I wear like a necklace? Maybe. But how else am I going to show that I am a bad boy if not for shark teeth. A bad boy attitude? I don’t have time for that!

Sometimes people come into my store asking for me to hunt down the shark that killed their great grandson, but the sad thing is I just have to tell them to go away, because I’m an electrician! But then they say why is your store called Jeff’s Shark Hunting, and then I’d tell them that it’s ironic. And then they’d look at me all weird and walk away… good times.

Probably the worst bit about being confused all the time for a shark hunter is when I’m at the beach. Sometimes there’ll be a fin in the water and people will yell for me to kill the shark, just because I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘Professional Shark Hunter Not a Joke’. Don’t people get that it actually was a joke? So I just get out of the water as quickly as I can, grab my bag of popcorn and watch, just like everyone else.

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Popcorn and a shark mauling. Best way to relax I can think of!
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2 thoughts on “Read All About the Shark Hunter!

  1. Next time you’re asked about your shark hunting skills, look appalled and hiss, “Don’t you know sharks are ENDANGERED? What do I look like? A MONSTER?” And then lean back casually and say, “I’m not a monster, bud. I’m an electrician.”

    And when they say “Hey man, don’t call me bud” you just say, “Hey friend, don’t call me man” and whip off your overall to reveal your gills and your shark tail and say, “I’M A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK! EY-OOOOO!” And high-flipper him before dashing out the door with your electrician tools.

    Like

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